Finding your niche

As of late I have almost become quite obssesive about trying to find where I fit in my Christian walk. I am not your typical "cookie cutter" Christian. I am colorful, quirky at times, unkept a bit with flowers in my hair, music loud, a mouth that my foot is firmly planted in most of the time, and a past that haunts me.  I love the Lord with all of my heart and that is certain, but finding where I fit in among His children has been a daunting task. Filled with panic I try and keep my "cool" persona around folks who I find too intimidating to show my new lifestyle, but while doing that I could be keeping one of them from changing theirs. In retrospect, I wish I would have had someone shining that ever so bright light of a newly washed soul to me when I was in my darkest days. There is nothing brighter nor prettier than that effervescent, irrepressible joy that a new Christian gives off. I want that brilliance all the time. I have a desire to be different, but I feel like my body is like that of a bobber on the end of fishing pole. Just dancing around on the waters surface most of the time, but then in an instant gets sucked underneath into the dark.

Lord today I am praying for strength to break free of just dancing on the water. Help me to surrender fully to you and shine the light of loving the Lord to the world.

But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. -James 1:22