Affairs with yourself

Oh how I have missed writing. It soothes me in some sort of way to know that I can tell the whole world how I feel without even having to speak a word out loud. My heart seems to be swaying back and forth between who I am as a free spirit and who I have become as a born again Christian woman. I know that everything I have been up to this point has shaped and molded me into exactly the person I am supposed to be. On the contrary how do we learn to love ourselves when we are sinners in such a way that sometimes we don't even notice we are sinning anymore? Why am I so determined to be perfect. Not that perfection isn't a standard we should all strive for, it is just simply unattainable. I have made a new promise to myself and to my Lord. I promised to fall completely in love with the woman that I am. Fall in love with my charisma, fall in love with my body, fall in love with my faults and imperfections. Although I believe this might be a hard feat to accomplish.. I think we all possess the power to love ourselves. What a noteworthy act of achievement might it be to fully find happiness in who you are as a whole. I not only believe that this will improve my confidence and ability to love, but my relationships as well. How can someone else love you when you do not love yourself in return? Good question...you are making the job a heck of a lot harder for those around you. The most important relationship of all is that of you and your maker. He made me just the way I am for a reason...flower child, light hearted, tall, a bit out spoken and unique in all of my own ways. I am me and there is no one else like me... and that is comforting. Thank you God for granting me little pieces of your wisdom everyday. Lord knows I need it.

"Whoever gets sense loves his own soul;

he who keeps understanding will discover good." -Proverbs 19:8