Finding the light in life

As I sit this morning drinking coffee in my retro themed sun room with old records playing and the dogs running around beneath my bare feet, I began to think about what brings light in to my life. Well for starters having a place to call my own, or better yet to call "ours"... everything I can think of has to do with Chad. I saw something today that was kind of disturbing... referencing getting married and having a family to signing your life away and preparing to rot and die. I was deeply troubled by the fact that anyone would think that finding love and companionship to go through life with was in anyway going to suck the life out of you. Before Chad, I was alone and with him now I feel like I can do anything. He has stood beside me throughout everything. More importantly...Chad began to love me, when I felt unlovable. Have you ever been in such a dark place that you think just your mere presence will ruin every ones day. Have you ever been so miserable that you always avoided mirrors because you knew when you had to look at yourself you would immediately feel sick to your stomach and begin to cry. I was there and I know now that I wasn't alone, God was with me. I just think He had to let the lifestyle I was living do its damage for me to actually realize His way was better. He is so smart. You have solved life's puzzle when you realize that empty hole in your soul CAN NOT be filled with ANYTHING else but God's love. The world fills it with sex, drugs, alcohol, & anything it thinks massive enough to fill up that gaping hole inside our hearts. The funny thing is that it works backwards...the more sin you put in...the bigger the hole gets. The Devil is smart too. Our life is hard enough as it is, why do we want to borrow trouble and bring blatant sin in to make it harder? I got a little off subject, my whole point was I am at a new level of happiness in my life. I have climbed that mountain of sin and stood on top of it and cried, sang, smiled, and rejoiced in my new path. The Lord shines through me, pours out of me and most importantly lives in me. Despite my past I am going into this union as a Godly woman and I will walk down the isle with pride and not shame... and that feels good.

-Nothing is more beautiful than a freshly cleansed Christian woman, they are as white as snow.